Pellets from the Universe

Me: What if you got a package in the mail and it was dripping everywhere and it was some cooked bean stew?

Just put in a cardboard box.

Like a care package.

BFF: No, it’s a gallon ziploc.

With “Get Well Soon” written on the bag in sharpie.

Me: And the pen punctured the bag.

And the postman delivers it to you upside down.

This is a great idea. We gotta add this to the ideas bank for when I’m president.

Everybody in America gets a “care package” delivered to their house.

And the whole country smells like bean stew.

And everybody’s working at the factory trying to get all this bean stew out.

And ziploc is making a killing.

They’re a monopoly power now.

The government is bankrupt.

It’s called the “American Feed Plan”.

Get it?

Because it’s Americans feeding like horses on their feed: beans.

Just like horses eat.

And they’re pretty strong.