Pellets from the Universe

BFF: I had a dream about a kid who was named The Desert Child and he was some kind of mystical omen and he was bald wearing robes

ME: You had a dream about Anakin again.

Anotha one…

heyjustwannasayit’skrayziebone…..

callmewhenyougetthisvoicemail…

ME: Does Gilmore Girls ever get really violent and gory?

BFF: No

ME: Oh wait, I’m thinking of Golden Girls!

Hell is covered in spiders and the Hell smoke alarm is going off the whole fucking time.

I was showing my husband this cookbook I was reading, and he was reading it and he says, “They make the rockin’ world go ’round…” and I looked and he had found a picture of a wok and the caption read, “Flat-bottomed wok”.

I didn’t laugh but I said, “That was a very good joke.”

I’m listening to a 90s R&B playlist. There’s a lot of D’Angelo on it, which is great for me.

He almost showed the world his treasure!

I love how the whole point of that music video was to get people to think, “I-is he gonna show it??”

ME: (moaning) Bark nuggets….

BFF: Muuulllllccchhhhh… 🥵

ME: I remember when OJ Simpson was acquitted, a teacher came into our third grade classroom and said to our teacher, “OJ was found not guilty.” And then left.

BFF: That’s unhinged I love it.

BFF: I only want the nice and fun parts of living on a farm.

ME: yeah like petting the pig.

Shaggy sounds like he drank a bunch of milk before putting down his verse.